


be my mistake

by tigermochaeyu



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: Angst, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-18
Updated: 2019-09-18
Packaged: 2020-10-21 00:00:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20684120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tigermochaeyu/pseuds/tigermochaeyu
Summary: jihyo knows what she is to nayeon





	be my mistake

**Author's Note:**

> literally wrote this in twenty minutes without proofreading i'm just tired of not being able to put out content so i let my brain go and wrote whatever came to mind and this was it
> 
> inspired by be my mistake by the 1975

Cars pass by on the streets below, legs tangled in sheets of the hotel room bed, bodies shrouded in darkness save for the light of the city outside the window. Skin glistens with sweat, lungs gasp for breath, but there’s no satisfaction in the post coital haze. One lies awake riddled with guilt, the other with heartbreak.

It wasn’t meant to be like this, with Jihyo laid beside Nayeon naked and exposed to the older girl. Well, maybe to Jihyo it was. Was a dream for her to be able to tangle her body with the girl she loves so much’s own, loves so much it filled her chest with tendrils that wrapped around her heart and squeezed until she felt as though she couldn’t breathe unless it was Nayeon breathing life into her heart and mind and soul. Was a dream for her to feel wanted by the other girl. To be embraced by her and kissed until any and all thoughts became meaningless.

It wasn’t meant to end with Nayeon laying beside her, staring at the ceiling with a blank look on her face. Wasn’t meant to end with Jihyo’s stomach dropping as the high fades away. Wasn’t meant to end in pain and regret.

Jihyo knows what she is to Nayeon. Knows she’s just a useful friend for when Nayeon feels lonely. When Nayeon’s heart is across oceans yet Jihyo feels like hers is across galaxies despite the older girl lying on the other side of the bed. Knows how pathetic she sounds when she texts Nayeon, asks if she wants any company, knowing exactly where it will lead.

Yet she lets herself succumb to the temptation again and again and again.

Nayeon sits up, back facing Jihyo as she looks out the window, across the ocean where her heart currently is. Jihyo swallows the pain crawling up her throat in the form of tears, stares at Nayeon’s bare back like it’s the last time she’ll ever see it. She catches herself doing that a lot lately, knowing it’s only a matter of time before Nayeon finally admits out loud what Jihyo really is to her.

A mistake.

“Thanks for coming,” Nayeon mutters, and Jihyo knows that’s her cue to get up. Her cue to leave and pretend nothing happened in this hotel room. Pretend that she didn’t lose another piece of her heart somewhere in the sheets, pretend that being Nayeon’s friend is enough to keep her breathing.

“Of course,” she whispers back quietly, slowly but surely standing to redress herself. She moves slowly, like always, praying Nayeon will ask her to stay or say something, anything, to her.

But she never does. They never talk in the hotel room, and Jihyo knows they shouldn’t. Knows what she would say if she allowed herself to.

Once she’s dressed and headed for the door, she hears a quiet call of her name, her heart leaping in her chest as she turns to face the girl she’s loved for all of these years, silently praying that Nayeon will finally, _ finally _ ask her to stay.

“Dahyun can’t know.”

She knew the words were coming, but it doesn’t stop them from cutting deeper than any knife ever could.

“Don’t worry,” Jihyo says as she turns back towards the door, an easy way to hide the tear that slides down her cheek. “She won’t.”

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on twitter @ tigermochaeyu


End file.
